Am I Desensitized to Violence?
The other day I finally sat down and watched the second installment of the John Wick saga. In it, the titular character systematically cuts down hordes of anonymous baddies with machine-like efficiency. He did so entirely devoid of emotion; a farmer scything through wheat. And I took in all the scenes with a similar absence of emotion.
Watching John Wick head-shotting dozens of his enemies elicited no more emotion from me than watching Keanu Reeves practice on steel targets for YouTube. In fact, for most of the scenes, I was respecting Keanu Reeves’ obvious proficiency with a gun, pondering the cause behind his odd gait (bow-legged and pigeon-toed at least), and feeling frustrated at the writers for being so lazy in their creation of a magically bulletproof suit jacket.
The fourth thing I thought about was whether I should feel so detached from the violence on-screen. Should I be worried about myself? I am not sure the answer is yes.
Earlier that day I had watched another video. It was the one showing the death of Ashli Babbitt during the Capitol Hill insurrection. While watching some news coverage on January 6th, I happened to catch a clip of an injured woman lying on the ground. I wanted to know if the clip I had seen was related to Ashli Babbitt. It was.
Had I been desensitized to violence I would have watched the video without flinching. All of the other conditions were set: I viewed the Capitol Hill mob as a monolith. In my eyes, I could not help but view them as fools, violent traitors, and insurrectionists. I know there was nuance in the crowd, but when I watched the live coverage I was not thinking about that. I was just disgusted. They meant nothing more to me than John Wick’s baddies.
But that is not true. They are real people. And for better or worse, they are my countrymen.
I felt a heavy sadness watching Ashli Babbitt’s shooting. I do not feel bad for her. She made a choice and suffered a predictable result. It is a surprise that many more did not share her fate. Had this been a BLM event, many would have. But I do feel sad for her.
I am sad she was at a point where she felt she had to act, that she was manipulated into action. Sad for her husband who lost a wife and her brother who lost a sister. Sad her last moments were not amongst people who cared for her, but who were more interested in keeping their cameras rolling. Sad the American State failed yet another person.
No, I do not believe I have lost my ability to feel violence. But one must always be mindful to separate fact from fiction. In John Wick, 95% of the bad guys had no future, no past, and a present that only required them to die for the advancement of the plot. They were barely anything more than a steel target.
The same is not true in reality. Here every person is their own protagonist living a vivid life. You may not agree with their story and motivations. That is fine, I did not agree with Ashli Babbitt’s. But do not allow yourself to lose sight of their basic humanity. To watch any protagonist’s story be extinguished is a horrible thing. If you or I — If we — lose sight of that, then we are truly lost.
